This week Ed takes time out from his busy schedule of world domination & the subjugation of the world's masses to answer questions -
Q. Considering the current state of things, why are you still intent upon world domination?
Courtney, Provo, Wisconsin
A. Unfortunately, the few individuals that are still seeking to take over the world are simply lacking in the required competence. You have fitness guru Richard Simmons, child star Kristy McNichol, and the Morgan brothers of Fort White, Florida. If someone must assume the role of supreme despot, it should be someone who is properly qualified.
Q. In what ways are you qualified to rule the world?
Ashley, Evansville, Utah
A. I am an accountant, world domination was covered in first year Financial Accounting. I am also really picky and can be a bit pushy when the situation requires it.
Q. Will you be instigating a totalitarian police state with a all-powerful secret police force in charge of eliminating even the smallest of personal liberties?
Horace, Mills Creek, Manitoba, Canada
A. No, you are thinking of Kristy McNichol.
Q. What about forced participation in "Sweating to the Oldies?"
Beatrice, Silver City, Mauritania
A. No, that would be Kristy McNichol also, even Richard Simmons is against that.
Q. So are you going to do anything?
Cendar the Magnificent, garden department at Walmart
A. No, once again, that would be Kristy McNichol. My major thrust would be to take Paris Hilton, Casey Anthony, Brad and Angelina, and any one appearing in People Magazine or on Dancing with the Stars or American Idol and banishing them to a small island without any possible access to the media. That should pretty much fix everything.
Check in with us next week when Ed explains rollerdisco.