Ed's Rants


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"Society without organized religion is like a crazed psychopath without a loaded .45. "

-Anonymous

Religion is among the most unusual of human inventions.

You must imagine that a being of unimaginable power created a universe of unimaginable size with innumerable wonders and that the only important thing in it is us. For most of history mankind has insisted that the Earth itself is the very center of the universe and all else revolves around us. Central to this conceit is the precept that God's attitudes and opinions are no different than our own. This is more than a little twisted. Only a human could feel the shame and guilt that mankind does regarding sex. To believe that God, an asexual being, would share our insane preoccupation with all things sexual is absurd.

Why would God create us?

First, it is obvious that God does not care if we worship him or what we believe. If he did, he would have made it possible for us to know the truth. Christianity has the greatest number of adherents in the present day with about 33% of believers. But, if you think in terms of all of the humans who have ever walked the planet, the vast majority was never exposed to Christianity. Don't you think that if we were going to be tossed into the fires of Hell for the wrong theological decisions, God would have made himself known to those people also? To be frank, there is a strong racist bent to all religions, God is on OUR side and so what if some dark-skinned aborigine fries in Hell.

To truly understand the nature of God one must consider HIS needs. God's problem is that he is, by definition, all knowing. Think about that for a moment. Life would be like endless Seinfeld reruns, they might have been funny the first few times, but when you know all of the lines by heart they lose their entertainment value. Everything that has happened or is going to happen, he already knows. There is nothing to look forward to, no anticipation, and no surprise.

One of the reoccurring failures of religions is how to explain evil. How does a perfect God produce evil. The usual and insanely lame excuse made by most Christians is that man is somehow responsible for evil. I write computer programs and if one of my programs does something wrong, I do not blame the program. It was me, I made a mistake or the program would act as it should. By the same token, if there is evil, God is the one responsible. And since God is all-knowing he must have done it on purpose.

The one theorization that ties it all together is the belief that we are here for our entertainment value. The cards are stacked in such a way that we are in constant conflict with one another. Consider sex as one example. Men and women have sufficiently opposed viewpoints that they would never put up with each other ACCEPT that biology continues to bang us together like a drunken cymbalist. Another example is our need to compete with one another. God has done everything he can to make us behave like idiots.

What does God want from us?

Forget about worship, if he wanted that, he would show himself and have everyone groveling in no time. We need to think of our lives as episodes in a cosmic television series. More than anything else when we show up, we want God to pay attention because things are getting interesting. How can you be interesting? Be brave and courageous, be generous and loving, be funny and creative, live life well and fully. Face adversity like John Wayne or Charlie Chaplin, but face it well. Exemplify the finest and the foulest of human traits. Recognize and enhance the noble and true within you and battle the petty and vile. In other words, be completely unlike the humorless, unimaginative, passive, and sexually infantile sheep that call themselves humanity.

If you are dull God will change the channel, he won't punish you though, because being dull is punishment enough. Ultimately, you will end up in that big viewing room in the sky. If you have provided your share of entertainment, God might even pass the nachos down to your end of the couch.


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