Ed's Rants

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"There is a sucker born every minute"

-David Hannum (no, not P.T. Barnum)

This is a picture of an average American family

Not surprisingly, these people tend to suffer from a number of physical ailments. Now there are some closed-minded individuals who might suggest that these people suffer from too much food and not enough exercise. Isn't it just awful how people can be so darned mean?

This is where the health food industry steps up to the plate and delivers the all-important lies that American people desperately need to hear. INSTANT WEIGHT LOSS IS ONLY A PILL AWAY!!! To be fair, most Americans are willing to accept that their sedentary life styles and poor eating habits are the true cause of rampant obesity in America. However, many choose to believe that the 3,790 calories taken in daily by the average American is not a relevant factor.

PLEASE NOTE: I am very aware of and sympathetic to the reality that our current culture bizarrely mistreats the overweight. My criticism is for those who seek easy answers and lack the integrity to understand that they are the only ones who can change things. Meanwhile some of my closest friends are overweight and if you have a problem with their weight they invite you to screw yourself. My friends are like that.

PLEASE ALSO NOTE: The difference between medicines and supplements is solely in the way they are regulated. Many of the most powerful and/or effective drugs occur in nature. The fact that something is sold in a health food store does not mean that it cannot be every bit as useful AND dangerous as what you buy from a pharmacist. The point I am making is that as long as your caloric intake exceeds the calories that you use, you will gain weight.

One ad asks, "When is a diet pill worth $ 153.00?" The answer is as long as there are suckers who will pay it.

The health food industry lives by preying upon human weakness. Scams rely on human weakness and stupidity. People who respond to Nigerian emails asking for bank account information to facilitate sneaking millions of dollars out of the country know better but are blinded by greed. The success of the Nigerian scamming has led the rest of the world to rightly view Americans as being both fat and stupid. The health food industry tries it's best to cover the remaining 6 deadly sins. They cover sloth by offering health without exercise; gluttony by offering dramatic weight loss without dieting; vanity by offering hair to the bald; envy by promising "male enhancement"; you get the idea. Why turn to hard work and self-discipline when you can get the answers in a pill?

Let there be no doubt about this, there is absolutely NO LEGAL REQUIREMENT that those ads tell the truth. They can and do lie and when they do, they are not violating ANY law. One weight loss system used pictures of pregnant football commentator, Jillian Barberie, as "Before" pictures and than pictures after the birth as "After." This is perfectly legal and there is NO legal requirement that the models actually USED whatever product is being sold during the time that the weight was lost!

There is also one other group, those without hope, for every problem that medicine can't cure there is a huckster promising a 100% sure cure dietary supplement. Obviously, these cures never work, but screwing dying people out of their last dollar is the "Holy Grail" of the health food industry.

The sad fact is that the health food people can tell you anything they want and never, ever have to back it up. A quick check of the internet yielded these promises;
1) Goji Juice promises a 100% SURE CURE for cancer. ANY cancer!
2) Vimax pills claim that 98% of their customers experience a 2 - 3" lengthening of their penises.
3)Curetage states that in clinical studies 100% of their users not only stopped losing hair, but started growing new hair AND gray hair grew back in dark!
If you believe any of those claims, you are far too stupid to live. Unfortunately, vanity is a leading cause of stupidity and because there is no real hope for a receding hairline and/or a short willy the health food industry will never run out of suckers.

Scariest to me is the utter inability of people to reach logical conclusions from the little data they do have. Goji Juice is an example. How do they support their claims of a 100% sure cancer cure? They site an unpublished study from China that reported a 25% greater incidence of people responding to a certain chemotherapy when one of the substances in Goji was also introduced. The study might be used to demonstrate a usefulness for that compound being used with chemo, but 100% of the subjects died! Unless you are willing to accept the argument that dead people don't have cancer, the Goji compound cured exactly zero people. It is clear that the use of Goji represents an act of sheer desperation and/or the purest distilled essence of stupidity.

If you have a taste for schadenfreude try this website; http://www.infomercialscams.com/scams/lipozene_complaints . It quickly becomes impossible to generate any sympathy at all for the morons making these complaints. My favorite quote is, "i have been taking lipozene for one month and a half and i never lost no body fat at all. i thought that it really works but i find out that it does not work at all i learned is that both of my arms hurt very bad and might have to go to the hospital because all of my musles in both of my arms hurt so bad i cant feel nothing in eighter arms they hurt so bad and they had been hurting for 3 days." Another favorite, " they made it look like fat would be burning while I sleep and just for that reason I made myslef sleep alot." I begin to feel that the scammers are justified, these idiots need to be fleeced!

BTW - Talking about the health food store's income. The supplement that you pay $ 153.00 per bottle costs less than $ 5.00 for 10,000 bought direct from China. Nice little profit margin there! And you need not be concerned about the lack of government quality requirements for supplements, because you can be certain that the Chinese are applying their famously stringent standards. The number of people who die each year from contaminants like lead and formaldehyde in supplements is never more than a couple of hundred.

Regarding weight lose and dieting. I strongly suggest that anyone reading this considers the long term view on health. Your body is like a bank account, if you make more deposits than withdrawals it grows. The best way to maintain a healthy weight is to not overeat to start with. So, instead of getting fat all winter and then trying to starve yourself before swimsuit season, I suggest that you maintain a healthy diet all year round. When you get to be 80, you will thank me. BTW - when was the last time you saw a fat 80 Year old?

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